A breaking news story reported by the Boston Globe speaks of allegations against Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, best-selling author and world renowned expert on trauma.

The mental health community has been rocked by the idea someone like van der Kolk who has made it his life’s work to study trauma and help heal those who have been traumatized would in turn be accused of harming others.

When I heard the allegations, I thought immediately of the dark history of psychology and the many misuses of power so frequently glossed over. I also thought of the traditional role of the therapist, as a removed and somewhat aloof expert whose life (complete with struggles and joys), emotions, and personality remain a mystery to the patient. This dynamic, whether created intentionally or unintentionally, sets in motion a inevitable power imbalance.

The lack of training about the use of authenticity and humanness in therapy can cause therapists to fear being real with their patients. And rightly so, as understanding how to be vulnerable with patients is a highly advanced clinical skill that requires much more than training to achieve. It requires a depth of personal growth, self-introspection, and self-awareness that isn’t demanded in a therapist’s typical training or by the licensure process.

However, when therapists remain veiled behind this wall their personal lives and relationships can be in chaos, they may experience feelings of helplessness and loneliness, or they might use the power derived from appearing they  “know what is best” or “have it all together” to mistreat or abuse others. And all of this can happen isolated from the eyes of the world.

I believe many modern gurus, which include new age healers, doctors, therapists, and yes, even horse trainers, are naturally set up to misuse or abuse their power. Frankly, it takes a special kind of person to know how to handle being in the spot light, and always being asked (and expected) to be the “expert”. The pressures of this role are immense, and the internal desire for greatness sometimes overrules all else.

I have been witness to many abuses of power in the equine world over the years. I myself have fallen victim to the powers of a trainer whose need for perfection placed my horse and I in an impossible and life-threatening situation. The idea that I would have stood up to him, me, a 14-year old girl who desperately wanted to “make it” in the big leagues, was unthinkable. So I pulled myself up off the ground for the second time, blood streaming down my face from a broken nose and no idea where I was or what I was doing (due to a concussion). I stumbled across the arena to walk up behind my shaking, frightened mare. I touched her, and she kicked. It wasn’t her fault. It was his fault. He over faced her. He asked her to do something she wasn’t ready to do. And I couldn’t tell him no. So she kicked. On that day I experienced a great miracle. For that I suppose I can be grateful. I laid dead on that arena ground for over three minutes. Those minutes changed my life.

One of the lessons I learned that day was how to stand up for myself and those I love. Even to gurus. I learned to listen carefully and be mindful that even well meaning people might not always know what is best for me. I learned to gratefully accept what I can from the wise ones, but never become swept away by their fame or their name or their power. They are, after all, just people.

But, that being said, with great power comes great responsibility and it is up to these “gurus” (including us therapists) to do better. Although we all must learn to “speak our truth” even in the face of greatness, it is clear to me that whoever holds the power must be even more aware, and create safe opportunities for others to confront and provide feedback that is taken with respectful gratitude.

6 thoughts on “Power, Abuse, and Guruism

  1. Leif, can’t find a free copy of the article on BVK to understand the nature of the claims. If you can find it please forward. Don’t know the man but about 15 years ago he collaborated with AP a highly ethical master therapist of psychomotor therapy. That being said and if claims are true AP would would have been deeply saddened by said news (were he still living).

    1. Hi Scott,
      Here is a link to the Yahoo article which is certainly free:


      And also the link to his response to the accusations:


      What stood out to me the most in his response was this statement “as far as I remember, none of you have ever confronted me with such misbehavior.” I think these “gurus” have such a responsibility to be HYPER aware of their impact on others as people are unlikely to confront them because of fear, respect, or lack of self-assurance. It is hard to stand up to someone who seems so tall –

      Thanks for reading and hope you are well!

  2. Thank you so much for validating my own experience with BVK and my own difficulty
    at direct confrontation of the guru. You write a truly inspiring article. I hope your article reaches a very wide audience and supports the voices of the vulnerable victims.

  3. Thank you so much for this article. I learned about these allegations a year after they came out and I am a therapist living in Boston! I was so devastated to read the reports as I respected his work so much. Your perspective is so appreciated and important, especially in our field of equine assisted/facilitated therapies. I will share this widely in my networks.

  4. Just come to this article after having read your new one today. A theme to be revisited and revisited. As a therapist we must do ‘more’ work to enable others to feel safe enough to confide their feedback about us to us. Clients usually come because they are already vulnerable, so our relationship with them is THE place to practice the giving and receiving of feedback in a mutually supportive and curious way.

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